i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize