You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
