I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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