oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
