are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
this is an emotional support booty call
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
