Duck Duck Cougar?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
