please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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