Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
