Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
