i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
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