Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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