dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
FUCK WHALES
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
