Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
