Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
