Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
