Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
All I want is dick and wine.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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