dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
