I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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