yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
