Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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