Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
