This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Its about making memories worth repressing
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
