From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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