i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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