Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I don't deserve a penis
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
