Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
