Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
