Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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