You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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