I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
