Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
