My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
