Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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