Your tits are I can't wait for
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
