Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
They are going to name an STD after you.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
