Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
