I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
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She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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