How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
3pm strippers are depressing
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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