My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
