I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
