That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
