i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
