I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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