So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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