Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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