roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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