Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize