hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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