I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
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The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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