HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
