well I can't set my house on fire every night
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
