Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
