i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
