It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
