you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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