Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
