Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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